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The Unihorn EP

by Passion Party

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Tim Stiles
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Infinity Being
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dantastik5
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LW
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1.
Poor & Sexy 03:40
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I can't afford the fancy things This dinner's two-for-one The bottom shelf is all you get And these drinks are on your tab Hey Honey, I know you like the finer things Fast cars, rock stars, and diamond rings But it’s time to change teams, because what I like to bring Is an extra bus pass, with just enough cash to ride with me The wheels on the bus go round-and-round While our feelings of lust are pound-for-pound Outweighing the balance in my bank account But that goes without saying, I’m just glad we’re hanging out I… Love the way you rest your head on my shoulder It's pretty amazing since I just ran out of deodorant The love in the air overpowers the stench of my hair You sit right there even though I’m worse for wear You’re in trouble now, the bus stops right in front of KFC And I’m treating you to a Double-Down Well only half actually One chicken fillet for you and one for me No, no time wasting as I peel off each piece of bacon The combination of cheeses has our taste buds quaking The only decision you’ll be making before this delicious meal Is Original Recipe or Grilled? I, I... Fill you up right, don’t I baby I’m not uptight like those other guys baby I know that you love me even though I’m not wealthy Rich is the new ugly, poor is the new sexy! I can't afford the fancy things This dinner's two-for-one The bottom shelf is all you get And these drinks are on your tab Barely five foot nine, skinny as a rail Just as pale as a polar bear cub but cuddly as well You can tell by my freckles I’m part ginger with no soul and I’m often getting heckled The bags under my eyes match my black, hooded sweatshirt Got your heart beating so fast that I bet your chest hurts Lets get to work. No, wait I’m unemployed No wallet, just a coin purse and food stamps in these corduroys I’m so much better than the next man Still rocking a beeper because I can’t afford a text plan Approaching my mid-thirties, looking like a twelve year old Shoulder width of a woman, Vanity Fair’s new centerfold This sunken in look makes me your main hottie Same demeanor, same body as Renton from Trainspotting I know you love me, even though I’m not healthy Buff is the new ugly, skinny’s the new sexy! I can't afford the fancy things This dinner's two-for-one The bottom shelf is all you get And these drinks are on your tab
2.
Tingle 03:47
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Every time I look into your pretty little eyes, baby! I find my fire burning deep down inside! Just one look, that tingle in my nerve I just wanna study you and every little curve, baby! Let me be the student and you the professor Put on your reading glasses, it’s time to play dress up Once we’re both in character, we won’t mess up, I’m tingling, thinking of fingering each answer out Any chance of doubt is steadily dwindling I watch you prance about in your blouse, eating Entenmann's So sexy, you’re my powdered pastry Blowing me sugar kisses, you never cease to amaze me You’re my prime rib highness, one of the finest Cuts of meat to strut the street in silence I’m just Linus with my blanket, walking mindless Perhaps I need a spanking for disregarding your kindness, ouch! I didn’t intend to strike a nerve Just trying to be a nice guy with a quiet concern You’re my meat and potatoes with the spices that burn! Take a seat at the table, I’m gonna wine and dine the shit out of you Every time I look into your pretty little eyes, baby! I find my fire burning deep down inside! Just one look, that tingle in my nerve I just wanna study you and every little curve, baby! After a full belly, combined with a drink or two My heart'll turn to jelly, let me tell you what I think of you Turn your head around Let me see that modelistic set of sunsets caressing your center brow I think you know where we’re headed now Back to my Tempurpedic, pressure treated bed to mess around I jump out the bathroom, dressed like a clown You take one look at my shoes and then you know we’re getting down Let my Mickey-Mouse hands touch those sexy, brown strands I’ve got a trick up my sleeve and a gun in my pants Playing baby roulette, packing bullets in a surplus Love making so intense, its like fires at the circus You like my attire? The proof is in the purchase I bought it just for you through tireless Google searches Wireless web cam attached to the bed-stand We’ll have a million fans by morning Every time I look into your pretty little eyes, baby! I find my fire burning deep down inside! Just one look, that tingle in my nerve I just wanna study you and every little curve, baby!
3.
Like You To Death 04:31
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I like, really wanna take you to the theater See a non-romantic comedy and listen as you repeat the words I'll smirk as you finish Adam Sandler's sentences While we're sipping on our colas, eating peanut butter sandwiches The time we spend together sure does have advantages But I could care less about knowing where your parents live I don't mean to be to mean and I'm sorry you were not warned But we won't be sharing secrets, not even this bag of popcorn It's not that I'm not caring, we could watch porn But don't try any funny stuff, this package is labeled, "Not Yours" I like to keep my bubble distant from your peeps and mumbles You view the forest for the trees but all I see is trouble From sea to shining sea, be all that you can be because it's a hustle But you’ll never understand me, so we will never be a couple Even though your breasts are supple to this boy in a bubble It's all toil and trouble, like I like, I like you to death I like you, I like you to death I really like you but I don't love you Don't really want a kiss but I sure do want a hug! I like, I like you to death I like you and I will like you until death I don’t "like-like" you, even though I trust you There will never be an us, it’s just you! I like, really wanna to take you to the pitch-n-putt Be hopeful about hole-in-ones and play a little catching up It's been a minute since you and I relaxed and junk So, grab your ball but not mine See how easily I can pass the buck? Fasten up your hands to that club and swing your arms like a pendulum It’s all about your center of gravity But while I hold your head straight don’t take it as me being your majesty You’d like to be my queen I’m well aware you’re all "hot for teacher" and everything in-between But you cannot win this prize by acting all, “Charlie Sheen” Nor looking back at me with those bright, googly eyes It’d be stupid for you to devise a plan to become concubines Despite the AstroTurf hills we both have to climb Our friendship is endless and any more is asinine Perhaps me drawing the putting line was just a matter of time, and I I like, I like you to death I like you, I like you to death I really like you but I don't love you Don't really want a kiss but I sure do want a hug!   I like, I like you to death I like you and I will like you until death I don’t "like-like" you, even though I trust you There will never be an us, it’s just you! I like, really wanna take to you the bowling alley Pick up a couple spares, drink some beers, just roll and rally We'll share a handful of high-fives, as the fun increases our life-lines I'll even let you control the tally But the thing is, I already told you, Sally Despite your fair stance, and implants you don't peak my valleys You don't speak my language even though you're so sweet You seem to strike out with each and every advance I’m not even talking pins, you’re lost in grins The ginger kids in the opposite lane can see the awkwardness As I cringe, watching your granny throws expose your panty-hose You think it’s, "oh, so sexy" while my head's like, oh noes!” It’s time to take you home, we won’t Be following this with karaoke, that’s all she wrote I surely don't need you to hold me closely, Tiny Dancer Nor share a drunken duet of Private Eyes by Hall and Oates I like, I like you to death I like you, I like you to death I really like you but I don't love you Don't really want a kiss but I sure do want a hug! I like, I like you to death I like you and I will like you until death But keep your lips zipped, this is only friendship There will never be an us, it’s just you!
4.
The Unihorn 04:11
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You’re the one who makes me giddy-up, baby These hoofed feet and bare chest have got you thinking maybe I could get with this, suckle that horn like it's licorice Until the break of dawn I know you’re ticklish Despite the warnings of your fickle friends this ride has its benefits You can be my Pegasus Your wings will spread until things in bed get ridiculous Lets put an end to this And by the end I mean, I'm giving you the tip of tenderness It’s just a subtle reference You can manhandle my man-candle until the wick is lit So quick like, lickity-split I’ve got the cure for that wet dream Nicotine fit Blow it out girl, make a wish but give it some spit Because it’s gonna be a night that you’ll never forget, like Just ride the Unihorn and strap that saddle on Just ride that beast until the early mutha-fuckin’ morn! He's such a sexy thing, just please unzip my fly! He'll teach you all the things you want to know down-deep inside! My ivory is lively and ribbed for your pleasure Let’s see how far you can go, break out the tape measure That look of shock means you’re ready to rock It’s such a treasure watching you riding that… Stop! Not so fast, I want this to last You’ll be breaking this steed, while I’m tapping that As… we proceed, passion will lead To a magical seed, creating a new, fantastical breed As you will see once you're fastened to me The spur of the moment, combined with this durable component Makes bestiality a keen reality More phallic than fallacy, more callous than Caligula I’m big enough to pierce right through Your fantasies of actors, and poet’s haikus I’ve been galloping for days for a girl like you Half-man, half-equestrian times two Just ride the Unihorn and strap that saddle on Just ride that beast until the early mutha-fuckin’ morn! He's such a sexy thing, just please unzip my fly! He'll teach you all the things you want to know down-deep inside! Sure it’s a challenge balancing on this ballast Bracing against waves of passion, filling your palette With an amount of malice for hours with this thoroughbred You’ll need an ice pack afterwards to soothe your head My hooves’ll hurt but once we’re through in bed The proof will spurt in the form of rainbows We’ll wake up in the same clothes Laying next to a pot of gold already attained though The goal's been met You’ll still be tossing and turning with night sweats Just a result of last night's caress You'll be hugging your bedpost as if it was my likeness You'll be tugging that bedpost as if it was my likeness The Unihorn Such an abstract apparatus, you’ll assume I’m deformed The Unihorn An acrobat in the sack giving you an asthmatic attack The Unihorn Party in the front, saddle in back The Unihorn Turning your most secret fantasy into a matter of fact! Just ride the Unihorn and strap that saddle on Just ride that beast until the early mutha-fuckin’ morn! He's such a sexy thing, just please unzip my fly! He'll teach you all the things you want to know down-deep inside!
5.
Mantis 03:38
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I can hear those babies crying You’ve got to know I’m trying and trying! Put the pump to the nip, my baby won’t take a sip With my fist to the skies, I curse these fucking man-tits! Why did god give men nipples? You’d think it’d be all so simple, but I can’t get just a dribble? What the hell is the the point Of these over-sized pimples? I couldn’t be any clearer than crystal Staring in the mirror at two blank pistols I wish they'd just blast off like missiles There ain't no cream in this crop, so I've got issues These tweezers have the meanest crunch I’ve even tried a penis pump But the wells are dry they fail to supply the nectar Baby needs for lunch It’s not like I need breed and such Just want some double-D’s to touch If God would grant my wish I’d plant a kiss on each And it’d mean so much I’m praying like a mantis Shooting blanks from these poor excuses for “man cannons” My seed is crying and I can’t stand it My lady’s away, so I can’t abandon it There’s only so much Similac in the cabinet I tried the cat, but she ain’t having it I’m running out of options, should of gone with adoption But it’s too late now I can hear those babies crying You’ve got to know I’m trying and trying! Put the pump to the nip, my baby won’t take a sip With my fist to the skies, I curse these fucking man-tits! Let’s say that I worked for Gerber, would you consider me a pervert? Investing funds in research Inventing guns that could squeeze spurts Out of my teats with fervor If there could only be a merger that would help me feed and nurture I wouldn't need a curse word I’d put baby's thirst first Milky-Way cradling until the curds burst Ain't nothing wrong with a little man lactation Let’s gene splice this adaptation I need more than a apparatus Attached to back fasteners To satisfy my aspirations My emotions are all glass-cased in A sealed bottle with an expiration It’s my guilt-filled plan To become 2% milkman, the rest fascination This may come as a shocker But oh, what I could do with some equal knockers I’d be the who’s who among a group of imposters More famous than Jack Byrnes from Meet the Fockers Can’t a man just have turns to feed the foster...Kid Wasn’t planned sure, but neither was me the father I’m not try to preach a gospel My needs aren’t hostile I just agree that it’s possible! I can hear those babies crying You’ve got to know I’m trying and trying! Put the pump to the nip, my baby won’t take a sip With my fist to the skies, I curse these fucking man-tits!

about

Passion Party is a satirical hip-hop band from Seattle, WA formed in 2012 by Tim Stiles and Adam Drew.

The band's debut, 'The Unihorn EP' was produced and co-written by Seattle drummer and vocalist Adam Drew (Halophile, The No Good Hearts, This Blinding Light, Hidden Lake) and features trumpet by Timmy Conroy (Blvd Park, Georgetown Orbits, Paula Boggs Band). All beats were made via Adam's Roland MC-505. This collaboration inspired lead vocalist and rapper, Tim Stiles to crank out hilarious, often raunchy hip-hop jams about the trials and tribulations of love and life, managing to say stuff with a straight face that should probably never be said.

credits

released February 12, 2012

All Songs Written by Tim Stiles
Prod. by Adam Drew
Chorus'/Hooks written by Adam Drew (Tracks 1, 2, 4, & 5)
Feat. Timmy Conroy on Trumpet
Arrangement and Samples by Tim Stiles
Mixed by Masa Fukudome
Mastered by Gary Reynolds
Cover Art by Jordan Stiles

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Tim Stiles Santa Cruz, California

Tim Stiles is an independent hip-hop artist historically known as the lead vocalist/rapper of the satirical hip hop band, Passion Party. Tim is no one trick pony. He’s a clever, crafty wordsmith in his own right with an ability to adapt to just about any concept or genre. ... more

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