by Tim Stiles

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For my pinball playing, Mr. Bear walking, Jag of a friend, LMC.
Available on Spotify: open.spotify.com/album/2HsJGe1xMzPbMZHsE6EeQN
Available on iTunes/Apple Music: music.apple.com/us/album/l-m-c-single/1490149850


The KID…

Straight-framed glasses
On a tall drink of water
Taking grad classes,
Hard knocks alma mater

Murdered-out lipstick
Might paint this misfit
Otherwise don't expect
To see any makeup on her

All you trash talkers
Are simply cannon fodder
For this middle finger raising,
30-something multi-baller

Conscious of her family
But not a momma's daughter
This blonde from Colorada's
A spitting image of her father

Not at all prim and proper
Tall as a tree
Rocking striped tube socks
And ripped off sleeves

Jags oughta check themselves
Crossing paths on the street
Unless they want to get kinged
By checkered vans on her feet

See, you'd better recognize
Before you’re left dead inside
Standing there, petrified
As she screams, TESTIFY

When that mesh cap's
Brim's raised like a fin,
Read the warning sign,
Mr. Bear's off his leash

Once you meet the L-to the-A
You’ll rethink who the hell U-R
See, the E means you’re N’d
This pinball queen’s
Not one to compete against

Put your quarters up and play
I guarantee, you’ll need a full jar
Once ball three sees its end
It’s time to bend the knee,
McNeil at each event

You'd think that someone
Getting sidelined by loss so tragic
Would just give up,
And figure life no longer mattered

But leave it up to Lauren
To rise from the ashes
From two--both of who if still alive
Would be so ecstatic

With how she
Sowed those seeds in Nevada
Staying clean and sober
Grieving for them in tandem

Her strength amazes me
When turmoil wouldn't cease
She remained determined
To turn soil under cactus

Her passion
Helped the closed-captioned speak
Giving "fresh starts"
To those who only knew, "woe-is-me"

Took the reins
And drove that van
Leading a treatment program
In a no man's land

With all the previous tilts
And the quarters that spilled,
Flipped tails to heads
To make their road back grand

Confidence she instilled
To a populous in need of help
Complements how she excels
At any hold-pass planned

A Vale-born beast
With a stance that might make you nervous
But with Mr. Bear on his leash
It’s all hamsters and maple syrup…


A stance that might make you nervous..
It’s all hamsters and maple syrup

This veteran of the BAG
Long tenured, bar tender
Will always be remembered
By that Caliente center

Not the only mark she's made
Knock on the cabinet replays
Are often heard these days
From this tournament contender

Hell's Bells CLANG
At each IFPA event, but
Not even outlanes
Can drain courage
From her ventures

Each ball lost
Means a probable extra
With an extended auto-save
Hurry-ups won't test her

Addam's Family shrugs
As her highest score prevents ya
From telling a Fish Tale
About 1-UP'ing her in Denver

Space Jam, slamming scores
That'll straight up dismantle yours
Skills that sing Soprano chords
After an Attack from Mars

This one bad mama jama
Kicks dust off JAMMA boards
Until your loose change
Becomes an exchange
You can't afford

Instead of setting up bars
Serving trash, sickly stiff
She now "sets the bar"
Without a mask on Batman 66

A Vale-born beast
With a stance that might make you nervous
But with Mr. Bear on his leash
It’s all hamsters and maple syrup…



released October 19, 2019
Written by Tim Stiles
Prod. by Jay Battle (Qreepz)
Recorded, Mixed, and Mastered by Jay Battle @ The Battlefield Seattle, WA
Cover Art by Tim Stiles


all rights reserved



Tim Stiles Seattle, Washington

Tim Stiles is an independent hip-hop artist residing in Seattle, WA--historically known as the lead vocalist/rapper of the satirical hip hop band, Passion Party. Tim is no one trick pony. He’s a clever, crafty wordsmith in his own right with an ability to adapt to just about any concept or genre. ... more

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